HOLD ON! “Why the hell am I here today?” I wondered. Why was God doing this to me?...

HOLD ON!

“Why the hell am I here today?” I wondered. Why was God doing this to me? I had never hurt anyone intentionally, but still, my life was really empty. And I was not at all prepared for the entrance test. I had never done Psychology in my life before, and I felt hopeless. “What am I going to write? What if I don’t get through? What if my college life ends up like my school life?” My head went numb with all these questions. I couldn’t even enjoy the greenery around me, and my Dad’s jokes. It all felt suddenly unreal to me.

But, whatever it is, something always catches my eye, whenever I am moody and tired. That is exactly what happened on that day as well. I had never imagined that I would find love again. I had never thought that I would end up liking someone after ‘him’. This is the reason why life is always so unpredictable. The moment we feel that everything is going to alright finally, it screws you up. His face was not really clear to me, because I had come without my glasses for the test. All I could see was a rough looking guy in a green T-shirt. Well, he wasn’t fair, but his complexion suited him very well. He didn’t even see me, but I kept on noticing him. His expressions, his movements, everything. And I found them very fascinating. After all, some people can capture other’s attention even if they are expressionless and emotionless.

I still don’t know if I had really concentrated on that test. (He was sitting in the same class). But, time passes really fast. We just can’t confess some things no matter how hard we try. Even when we try to move on and shrug our past, it clings to us. I have often asked this question to myself many times. Can we really forget our past? Or are we all affected by it?

The memory of seeing ‘him’ for first time on the day of interview two years back is still fresh in my mind. His face, features, the memory of him laughing out, teasing me, hugging me tightly whenever I cried, sitting really close to me and caressing my hair are some things I can never forget. But, life has to go on. I am still alive. The only problem is that I am still not aware of the reason for my existence.

The thing is that one can never stop loving. Maybe, some people don’t know what love really is. Maybe some are not really able to differentiate between love and infatuation. My thoughts are just the contrary. When you fall for someone, you just don’t fall for his or her looks or character. At least I don’t fall for a person’s looks or character. I fall for my own thoughts! I just follow my heart, and it doesn’t really matter to me if the person has a heart or not.

If you are still breathing, and are in love with someone right now, just tell him or her. You never know what would happen the next moment. Just hold your breath, have trust in yourself, and blurt it out! If there are no heartbreaks, you will never learn. Love is not an emotion to be suppressed. But, some things are worth the wait. It is always good to leave a few words unsaid. Just leave some things up to the person to imagine……..

I SHOULD REALLY STOP NOW! OTHERWISE IT’S NEVER GOING TO END.